literature

Tester

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Literature Text

Kitty, Jennifer, Matt and Jack stood in front of the grave of Tally Green. It had been 5 years since she died, and, as every year, they met up at the grave yard where Tally spent much of her last days before the accident. They stood there, remembering her, as Kitty laid down the flowers. Delicate white blossoms scattered amongst blood red roses.

The four of them stood there in silence, reflecting on who Tally had been. A bit of an outsider, it took a long time for her to call you a friend. Defensive, she hardly ever let her guard down, never really trusting anyone. Quiet and mysterious. That’s now those who never really knew her saw her. But those who managed to get past her shield saw a very different girl. Kind, loving, full of energy, always laughing. A true listener, but, when she felt safe, she could talk for years. But even then, you could never truly say you knew Tally Green. Not even Kitty, her best friend, could say she knew exactly what was going on in that girls mind.

Maybe that’s why they always ended back at that same spot, thinking about her. The mysterious wall Tally had built around herself kept everyone thinking about her.

Seconds ticked on to minutes, and still, no one spoke. They just stood there, looking at the piece of stone that now represented Tally Green. Daughter, friend, dead. How little it said about the girl. The world seemed to stop. It forgot to move, to breathe, to beat. Like it was caught up in their grief.

Kitty’s long, violently red hair began to whip itself across her face, hiding her eyes from the fact Tally was gone. She didn’t both to try and clear them, for at least they hid the single tear that always escaped her eye. The sound of the wind disguised Matt’s gasp of confusion, and Jennifer’s slip. Only when Jack, the one who never really fit in with them, certainly not at Tally’s yearly meeting, who never really knew her, not like Kitty, or any of them did, only when he let out a startled cry, did Kitty bother to even to open her eyes.

Her head still spinning from the memories that haunted her, she struggled to recognise the landscape before her. The vast greens of the empty countryside she’d been imagining in her mind replaced by earthy browns of upturned Earth. The bird song had long since faded away, and the trees no longer were clothed in the bright leaves of spring.

She struggled to work out what had happened, as the lorry pulled up and showed the four of them into the back.

24 hours later, still, nothing made sense to any of them. Not the sudden change in location, not their almost instant kidnap, and certainly not the woman in the black top on the other side of the glass, arguing with some woman. Tally Green. Alive.

This is something I'm writing at the moment. I'm not going to go into detail over what happens, I just want to know how interesting you find it, what I could write more into, what I should cut out, and whether it makes sense. And please, don't nicen your response, if you hate it, say you hate it. Because I know, kinda, what's going to happen, and it's something I've been into for a while, and I think I can go with this, and I want it to be as best it can be.
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ChildOfTheWest's avatar
This was interesting. Though there were a number of grammatical errors. You made it interesting enough that I'm curious to see what happens.